I'm only happy when it rains.

Post-Christmas.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 11:28:00 +0000

Come to think of it, Christmas went along like any other day, badly. I received one personal present this year. Yay! Apples chocolates and sweets, I think I received a grand total of 3 non-food related presents. Yay!

I expected worse.

I came home to a neatly messed up table, without clothes. I was awfully surprised, and wonder which miracle happened. Then, I opened up my drawers and found that everything was shafted in, UNCATAGORISED. Fricken' disaster.

Yes, I decided that I would be materialistic, because the thought doesn't count, when there isn't any. So what for make everyone else but yourself happy, does it make a difference? Its just like going green: ONE PERSON CANNOT MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Why me?

I don't care, coz' nobody cares.

Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 02:21:00 +0000

Christmas is here, and I want to blog, but I don't know what to blog about. Its my nineteenth Christmas, every Christmas is worse than the last, and this year's hit rock bottom. Remembering my birthday, Christmas doesn't seem very exciting, and it makes me get cynical over every little thing, from inefficiency to just plain everyday stuff.

I've to get through this FYP report which is going to murder me, literally, if not metaphorically. Well, its procrastination that got me here, I could have started way earlier for my project report. Given 3 projects and finish on the third week of December its a good situation for me. Well, as Ken Lee said, don't compare your project with other groups, its going to be very different, very difficult, very time consuming. How can you not compare when other groups start way later than you and finish way earlier than you? They come in for an hour a week and they have completed and probably have already finished their project report.

Enough ranting over FYPs.

Elgin say's he's going through a slight depression over the FYP report thing. I can feel it too, the lack of sleep, the hostility, the simple lack of appetite. I can't even play L4D when I'm bored.

Dr. Ken says he's not going to push me for distinction.

So much for Christmas.

Victor said we should share a present from my dad, which is to sell the old piano and get a good keyboard. I said anything, because I know that anything I want for Christmas, money can't buy.

Money can't buy a gift from someone you love, it can't buy love from someone you like, it can't buy time, it definitely can't reverse time, it would make someone like you more, it won't cure depression, lonliness, aggression, and all the pent up feelings I'm feeling right now.

Right now I'm abused and over-used.

Little meaning left in this life of mine, where I see people buy 50 dollar flip-flops, spend their time doing things people appreciate, and I can only look at my handphone and smile, coz' she sent me an sms.

I'm feeling really unappreciated, for anything that I do.

But as I said : I'm not a special and unique snowflake. I'm the same decaying matter as every single damn thing that existed.

But, even the person who said that, had a girlfriend. How much can I match myself to Tyler Durden?

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:55:00 +0000

You're a very special girl, and Andrew's a very lucky guy. Gonna miss you all so much~

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 11:39:00 +0000

Training Log:
5 min threadmill (warm-up)
4 x 8 upright rows (30kg)
4 x 8 bench presses (15kg, 17.5kg, 20kg, 21.25kg-20kg-17.5kg)
4 x 5 preacher curls (50lbs, 50lbs, 50lbs, 60lbs)
2 x 8 chest flies (15kg)

Monday, forteenth of december.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:56:00 +0000

What am I supposed to do, watch you cry?

Training log:
1o min treadmill (warm-up)
4 x 5 preacher curls (drop-sets)
4 x 20 back (210lbs)
4 x 12 leg presses (210lbs)
4 x 8 upright rows (30kg)
40 inclined sit-ups
3 x 20 flutter kicks

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 13:10:00 +0000

I have directly ZERO motivation to study.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:41:00 +0000

Nick wants to give up hope on his project right now.

On a little lighter note, MSTs will be over soon.

Special.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:28:00 +0000

You scared?

I constantly tell myself, "You are not a special and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying matter as everyone else."

So when do you become from special, to not so special?

Wendesday Reds.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 12:03:00 +0000

"Hey, you look ravishing, as usual." was really what I wanted to say. Somehow I didn't have the guts to. Oh well...

I really really hope doing well for your project takes me places. If not I'll still be quite happy to work in the lab for you anyway.

Hi, I'm Forrest, Forrest Gump.

I bet I won't be able to say something like this when it matters the most. He's a fool, but he's so much more a great person, maybe than what I'll ever be.

Monday BLUES.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:29:00 +0000

I'm fat. I know that I'm fat. But that doesn't mean that I like to eat all food, it doesn't mean that when you offer me your food, or your leftovers, I am going to eat it. It doesn't mean that when you pass as pack of sweets around and it goes past me, THAT I ATE IT. I'm not a pig.

Certain teachers should just give up teaching if they are going to just going to READ OFF THE SLIDES. If the notes are wrong, PRINT US A NEW ONE, because you sent them for printing. When the class is not listening, ITS NO JOKE. We are Singapore students, which means that we have lots of pressure and shit to learn, IT DOESN'T MEAN WE STUDIED CHROMATOGRAPY IN SECONDARY SCHOOL. We have not much time left for our personal life, WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO FIND ANALYTICAL CHEMISTRY TEXTBOOKS TO READ. A couple of hours in between lessons isn't time to get a life, ITS A WASTE OF TIME. We are not researchers, even if you have been one, SATURDAY ISN'T TIME TO DO FYP.

On a lighter note, THIS ISN'T A JOKE AR.

Weird Dream

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:57:00 +0000

I had a wierd dream last night: I was with a certain someone that I didn't think I would be with, and I was relatively happy.

I woke up, and I pondered why did I have that dream.

Weird.

Its not that I don't like her, its just that I'd never imagine myself to be with her.

Tired.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:32:00 +0000

Right now, if I could bother to write a letter to God, it would be something like this.

Dear God,

1. I'm very very tired.
2. Why does everything work out, but nothing work out fine?
3. Life sucks. Do You?
4. Why is it that the best part of the day for me is watching the sunset?
5. I need more time.
6. I need a break.
7. Why are people like that?
8. I'm lonely.
9. I'm the direct opposite of perfect; to say that I'm imperfect is a huge compliment.
10. Please explain to me why I want/need the answers to the above 9 statements/questions.

love(less),
Nick

Isn't writing letters in point form alot easier? Its more direct, and you don't get to forget what you were thinking.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 10:12:00 +0000

Clarity
John Mayer

I worry, I weigh three times my body
I worry, I throw my fear around
But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain
The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain

Ooh ooh ooh ooh

By the time I recognize this moment
This moment will be gone
But I will bend the light, pretend that it somehow lingered on
Well all I got's

Ooh ooh ooh ooh

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
That it won't and it won't because it can't
Because it just can't
It just can't
It's not supposed to

Was there a second of time that I looked around?
Did I sail through or drop my anchor down
Was anything enough to kiss the ground?
And say I'm here now and she's here now

Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

So much wasted in the afternoon
So much sacred in the month of June
How bout you

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
When it won't and it won't
Because it won't
And I will waste no time
Worried 'bout no rainy weather
And I will waste no time
Remaining in our lives together

Gawd I hope this works out for me.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:56:00 +0000

Thanks for helping me with that heavy load.

Even as I rushed everything through as fast as I can, I went down to feel nothing but emptiness, coz the sky was dark, and you were gone. Again.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 07:44:00 +0000

Neon
John Mayer

When sky blue gets dark enough
To see the colors of the city lights
A trail of ruby red and diamond white
Hits her like a sunrise

She comes and goes and comes and goes
Like no one can

Tonight she's out to lose herself
And find a high on Peachtree Street
From mixed drinks to techno beats it's always
Heavy into everything

She comes and goes and comes and goes
Like no one can
She comes and goes and no one knows
She's slipping through my hands

She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away

I can't be her angel now
You know it's not my place to hold her down
And it's hard for me to take a stand
When I would take her anyway I can

She comes and she goes
Like no one can
She comes and she goes
She's slipping through my hands

She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away, away.

She comes and she goes
Like no one can
She comes and she goes
She's slipping through my hands

She's always buzzing just like
Neon, neon
Neon, neon
Who knows how long, how long, how long
She can go before she burns away

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:06:00 +0000

Love Song For No One
John Mayer

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no way

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I'm so tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:47:00 +0000

Even though the sky's grey, littered with thick clouds that foretell rain, my rooms still terribly saturated with your colour. Though I no longer am happy when it rains, I smile, deep down within.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:46:00 +0000

The sunset today reminded me much of you, coz' you've never been a sunshine in my life; you never smiled much. But the gloomy turn of the sky from pink to blue, turned my bright green room and all its objects to different shades of blue. I'm not trying to say that you've turned my world blue; its nothing but, saturated with your colour.

Random.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:28:00 +0000

I want a name Niki, or Nichole, cause it sounds cool for a girl.

Need to get started on my Shit. and compile all my NMR and stuff like that, its getting irritating. AND I THINK I MIXED UP MY ESTERS WITH MY ACID. Omg. Die. I'm too scared to ask Ken Lee for advice coz' I know I will tio nag from him de. Then hor, all the back log haven't clear, and the presentation I don't really know how to do...

I wonder who reads this blog anyway.

Good luck to the both of you! May you two not end up like me. lol.

Rants.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 10:39:00 +0000

I had a dream about you last night. I dreamt that you took the seashell in your hand, and it grew into something lovely. I took your hand in mine, you smiled and said, "Shh. Don't tell anyone." Throughout that dream, we kept stealing glances at each other and I was happy. You were happy.

I woke up to the harsh reality that it was a dream. Dreams don't exist in real life. Movies don't exist in real life.

I've realised that in class, I'm nothing more than an "over-confident" gossipy, and someone people say friendly, person. To those two, I'm sorry if I'm a little overboard, but do take it as a joke, no harm intended.

Hey, a big thank you to you two for the presentation. Even though we kena chewed up again by Ken Lee, but I can assure you, that we're on the right tract and we're improving, at least by leaps and bounds. Jiayous.

From now on, I should be cold. Until you grow up, and stop thinking that the world revolves around you. I cannot stand it, but that's you, and according to EIC teacher I cannot change you thus I will stop here. You're cute, but annoying.

I now wonder when you will ever talk to me.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:59:00 +0000

People piss me off. I really want to say who, how and why, but always to be politically correct is driving me up the wall.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 06:22:00 +0000

WHY WON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

I'M ON A DEAD PROJECT AND YOU'RE NOT MAKING IT ANY BETTER.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:40:00 +0000

Maybe I should just quit school now and just do something else.

I don't really care right now.

Whats the point?

I lose everything. Gain nothing.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:36:00 +0000

:(

sigh.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick Hui) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:24:00 +0000

I hate the 14th of September.