All By Myself.

I realized that you can't really write songs well if you feel no emotions, if you listen to too much music, and if you don't reflect about your own life.

I got really inspired by the little love note on Wendy's blog, and I wanted to blog something like that too. But I couldn't find the emotions to, I couldn't find the person I wanted to write to.

They said you're pretty, and I smiled. They said I'd good taste, I told them I'll settle for nothing less, just you. But then again, every time you got too close, I'd back away, and every time you distanced yourself, all I wanted was to see you, just a glimpse of you. I just wanted to see you, not make any contact, much less be anyone in your eyes. You're my new disaster. My new hope. My new pain. My new love.

I wonder when did I lose that much trust in people, much to the point that I'm feeling so lonely. Are you people my new friends, or are you people going to push me down, the same way that the rest have?

I must be stronger, I'm way too weak. There are people who've been through much more than me who can carry a genuine smile on their faces. I can't, therefore I must be stronger. I'd listen to you, Char, even though it seems that everything that you say sounds so difficult, but I must try.

Then again, I wonder, if I'm living for myself or for the people around me, I listen to the songs that tell me that all you have to do is walk towards the end of the dream, that it doesn't matter what other people do or say, all you have to do is follow your heart and you can change yourself. I have always wondered if they're just writing songs for the sake of writing songs. Nothing ever changed.

Every time I tried to stand I fell, every time I tried to walk I stumbled, Every time I lifted my head up high I tripped. What makes this time any different?

I need a shoulder to cry on. A hand to the back of my head. A voice comforting me. A pair of eyes that don't demean me.