I'm only happy when it rains.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Something for you, dearest.

Here's a letter that I see the need to type it out, don't mind reading this you other readers.

Dear boyfriend,

Probably you may never see this blogpost as a whole, until later in the evening for you never expect me to update a blogpost for the whole entire world to see and openly announce that we're in a relationship; a bond as one but two separate people. You know I never like it, but it's okay - for you, why not ?

I know that it has been stressful for you, to do datasheets and reports - so do I. Even though I know that you haven't been in the best of moods and always keeping silent, but I want to tell you that no matter what, I'll always stand by you and respect your every decision (nearly, i guess). Well, there are many things that I want to say to you, but I can't bring myself to say at all. This stress is equivalent to the murderer of this puny relationship of ours. What happened from the baby love to grow to a big big love ? This is not even growth, in fact I feel it's shrinking to a smaller size sometimes. It's to the extent that Aaron has told me that he sensed cracks in our relationship, and told charm what she'd do if we break up. She told me about it, but I deluded myself from that fact; I don't want to let you go. Even though I'm in a situation whereby I've got scolded by the most crude teacher on Earth and ranted loads of heartfelt stuff in my blog, but you still are significantly in my heart. The love for you from me still glows as ever, but hidden somewhere deep inside where no one knows about and I'm serious with that, dear.

When I saw your monosyllable msnmessenger nickname of Lost, I've realised much enough that I've clouded your path and this relationship might be bringing you to nowhere existent in the world. I've thought myself as a burden to you, I've thought myself as not the best thing that happened to you; I'm more of your worst nightmare instead. When you're lost in life, I can say nothing much about that to bring you back into the right track. Nothing seems to help much, even though with how much advice and concern I give. Maybe it's all a matter of time, but you're not even giving me a sign. You're giving me nothing but silence, and that isn't gonna help to salvage anything much from feeling lost. I want you to stand up on your two feet and find the right path back to the life you once went through with many smiles. I want you to simply, feel like yourself. I don't want you to fall, I want you to rise. Or at least, you know that if you're feeling too lost in a certain adversity and nothing's brightening up, I'll be that torch of light to shine your right path through life.

I want you to know that even though my mum and a few of my circle of people are against our relationship to work out, but here's what i can tell you, right now at this very moment. These sentences ain't sweet talk, but from the heart, so here goes:

I'm willing to be your shoulder to lean on when you're sad though your neck will hurt.
I'm willing to be the punching bag of yours to vent your anger on.
I'm willing to just let you be my burden just to not make you suffer at all in particular.
Even if everyone backs out on you, I'll still be there for you with open arms.

I'll respect and support your every decision, promise.
Simply putting it, I love you dear.

(: I'll see you in class later. Goodbye.