Michelle Tan Hui Wen...

Somehow. When you think that you're getting it. you'll always find yourself back at the start. Michelle Tan Hui Wen is my maple mei. We shared fun times together. Talking, teasing each other, and doing stupid things. Seriously speaking. She's the only mei that I've had that made me feel like a kor to her for the longest time. Next up would be Shir Shir. Then Clara and Chloe. Otherwise Jane, for the shortest period of time. Wen mei would always be there to talk to you. She would always listen to your problems, your tale, how every long it is. She always made you feel important, coming to you for advise and stuff.

Good things always come to an end don't they? Every single thing in my life that was once good has been taken away from me. Slowly but surely. Rain. Clara and Chloe. Ericia. Xin Hui. Now Wen mei. Yesterday. Wen mei chatted with me on msn. Talking and stuff. She seemed to be hiding something from me. Chatted to me for awhile, then she changed the topic to her quitting maple. She yet again tried to tell me to for get Rain. Then after much pressing, She finally told me she was going to tell it to me. Curious, I pressed my crusade on for her thoughts. I was appaled. She confessed that she was actually a guy, Xin Hui's & melody's classmate. And some other stupid stuff.

Maybe I'm just no destined to live a good life. Smell the fish but not being able to taste it. Its being put on a plate right in front of you. Its torturous. Its sucks. If "Wen Mei" were to leave suddenly, I wouldn't have knowned, Continued the charade, and I would have played along as well.

"I thought it only appear in plays, serial dramas or even movies. I was always the middleman but suddenly, Im the 14 year-old main actress." - Rain

Questions You Never Had The Answers To...

When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?

Do stairs go up or down?

Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?

Why does shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?

Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?

Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why is a square meal served on round plates?

Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why did Mary own a little lamb?

"We're not lost. We're just locationally challenged. The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive." - Austin's Blog

Its Not My Birthday Anymore.

Its sad when u wake up and realise that ur not 15 turning 16 anymore. You're just sixteen. People say sweet sixteen, but a day without rain is just pure torture to me. Today I woke up at 6 am. Sent Dominick off at the airport. Said bye bye. Then I had an excessive breakfast at Tiong Baru Food Court. Ren Jin is still sick. She is infatuated with her sweets. Sad case huh. She is never going to recover from her darned cough. Not that I really care that much anyway.

Band practice was exceptionally horrid. The things that was put in were so novel and nice. But I thought of them as horrid. Maybe 'cause I wasn't use to the whole new experience thing. I didn't really like Harianto's voice. I thought he should shout less into the microphone and bite his consonants out. You shouldn't be singing songs like Jay Chou rapping. I didn't want to play but suddenly I had to play. What the hell.

I'm still stuck with that conversation yesterday going through my brain. I can't get enough of it. Imagine hearing an angel's voice. That's what Rain's voice sounds like. Its exeptionally unique, beautiful and sweet. I want to heat more.

Have you ever imagine yourself taking on many people? thinking of how you unleash your punches before you set them in place? I should stop day-dreaming sometime and start putting some of those useless thoughts into bloody darned actions.

"eh. you should be going to sleep now right. then go and sleep" - pokiwoki (Matt Yong)

Wha... Wha... What?

Today I woke up pretty early, refreshed. Played computer in the morning. Finished Nightmare Diablo. Finally. Today was the start of Metamorphosis Process, of which I will further address as MP. Breakfast was really late and I skipped lunch. I tried to do the studying part, but after about 1 hour and 4 stuck E Maths questions, I gave up. Its the bloody preliminaries and I can't do E Maths questions. What the hell.

I went to the gym on the third floor and lo and behold, I saw that the treadmill was spoilt. I made do with the stationary bike, and sweated it out for thirty minutes. I realised that a level 4 was enough to make my whole shirt wet, and level seven was too hard. I skipped dinner. Cool. I better hope this works. Came home and started Cassiopiea Maple. I want to rush and join people that are actually alive. Jolvin's kinda nice and stuff, but I don't want to be like talking to him about maple 24 /7. He's a class mate. Not a play mate.

Today the most unexpected thing occured. Rain called me to wish me happy birthday. That was so nice of her, since she was the only one that actually bothered to call me to wish me happy birthday, even though she was late. But she did apoloogize though. The whole event went as follows:

Legend.
*action* - things that are going on
(thoughts) - things that are going on in my head
"speech" - things that are being said at that moment

*phone vibrates*

*reads : Rain, Ang Yuan Yu*
(What the... Can't be. Must be prank call or something. What if she'd read my blog and wanted to talk to me about it. Die. Finish.)

*picks up phone*
"Hi Nick. This is Rain ar."
"Ya Hi."
(Oh my God. I'm talking to her.)

"Sorry, forgot to wish you happy birthday yesterday. Ya, so happy birthday.
"Hey. Thanks"
(Wow. Thats like so sweet.)

"So hows life?"
"OK lar. Sec 4 already"
(Why is she asking that?)

"Sec 4 alot of exams huh. Well. Wish you all the best for your exams. Hope I can see you soon."
"Ya. Kays."
(I want to see you much more then you'll ever want to see me.)

"Bye"
*hangs up the phone*

Rains voice is so sweet. I can't get enough of it.

"You know Megazord? The power ranger one. So -zord means something thats powerful la. So LoL - zords la. You don't know ar. LoL-lipops." - Jia Hong

14th September 2006 ( My Birthday)

Today's my birthday. As usual, my wishes didn't come true. Cool huh. About 16 years and 9 months ago, an accident occured, producing an accident that became a nightmare. Which is me. Today was quite a good day. I knew how to do some of the Add Maths quesions on the paper, which is quite an improvement for me. Cool Huh. Had KFC and spent 10 bucks, its my birthday, so I didn't care much. Played basketball. Came back and finished off Diablo. He's dead now.

My birthday celebration wasn't much this year. I just went out, had a dinner and came back. There wasn't even a cake. But who cares anyway. I mean like "who" cares? Thanks to the people who wished mw happy birthday, in order of timing: Ren Jin, Teck Guan, Simon, Clara, Chloe, Illango and Edwin. Thanks guys! Birthday presents I recieved so far : a now spoilt headphone from Andrew, and a necklace from Victor.

Today I wondered if Rain would appear. It'll be super cool if she actually bothers to send a message to me saying, " Happy Birthday, Nick! " That would like make my day. I wondered if she would knock on my door saying, " Hey Nick, Happy Birthday. " I'd think I would stay at the door frozen. No. It didn't happen. Not that I'm expecting it to. Hah. I'm only daydreaming. It will never happen. Not for me.

"Huh? Going to... Da jia. Ya. Fight. Jolvin's house there." - Edmund Wong

What I Wish On My Birthday...

Today's one of the worst birthday eve I've ever had. I took taxi to school with a guy who had no cash, which meant I'd to pay the entire taxi fare. I spent so much in shcool today, I realised I had drained 16 bucks out of my pocket. I'm not going to spend anymore, at least till the 20th. Physics paper was extremely demoralizing, made me feel that studying for physics is futile. The consoling factor was that everybody else thought so. So I guess I'm not the only one feeling out here. When I finished the papers I realised that my one sided creative earphones had broken. Wow. Now how great is that. The bus ride back home felt unusually jerky. But it was probably because I had a bad day.

Today's starcraft was a learning experience for me. Although the most powerful nations are founded on the hands of the strongest economies, the best defence is not neccesarrily economic defence. Diablo was especially fufilling, with myself getting serveral good unique items. Well, if life turns his back on me, I still have my games. Sad, but true, games are the only ones to keep me company sometimes. Tommorow marks the last day of rest before the Metamorphosis Process. I hope I follow through the course. Right up to the "O" levels. Its not easy. Its not the least bit easy.

I was posed the question, "Nick, what do you want for your birthday?" by Clara and Ren Jin. Well, I'll answer the question here. What I want? I want happiness. I want satisfaction. I want Joy. No one can give it to me. They are all priceless. They work hand in hand with each other. Without one, the other is not present. I have none of it. I want some. Give it to me, if you actually can. Above all, I want Rain. To me, Rain signifies all three. All three are present to give me Rain. Without Rain, all three to me are very much meaningless.

Tommorrow's the A maths examination. I better stop here.

"Eh Nick~! Pro anot. Pro right? Propanol ar~! Hiaaaa Hiaa Hia Hia" - Jolvin

Its Hard...

Its hard to make a change in the way that you do things. Today was an exceptional smooth day. Everything went smoothly. I went smoothly late ( the way I wanted it to) . The E maths paper today went smoothly through, although I didn't expect it that way. I went smoothly home, had a smooth favourite chicken rice from my favourite stall, and smoothly completed my starcraft missions with cheat codes. The only thing not smooth today was studying physics. There was alot more to study than I had anticipated.

I wrote notes for the first ten chapters of the books, then gave up. It was nerve wrecking to copy your own notes. You shouldn't be doing it the day before your examinations, at least. Today I though about how people struggle to make a difference. Alot of examples. But they all made the effort. Am I making an effort to make a difference? How many stories are heard of a guy who made a difference in his life alone to win a girl over? Am I one of them? Or... Will I be one of them? Metamorphosis Starts Friday.

Rain... Rain... Rain... They say if you love someone you'll let them go, if you love someone you'll respect their decisions, if you love someone you'll want them to be happy. How much of these have I done? Its not happiness to watch your beloved fall in love with someone else, its bad for the soul. Turns ur back against the light. Its not love. Its misery. Its torment. Its not nice.

"You Bunch Of Clowns! Must you make me scold you people on the first day of school? This is Victoria School, not Siglap Secondary School, so start acting like victorians!" - Mr. Maran

Screwing Up My Youth

I guess I'm very much screwing around with my days. I'm not studying for my prelims. I guess I'm really going down to hell. Today was Social Studies paper. I screwed it up! How cool is that. I studied Education, and Housing on the bus this morning. I told myself to look through Good Governance, but I was pretty much too tired to do anything but sleep on the bus. Guess what. The three questions that came out were Merger and Seperation, Industrial Revolution and Good Governance. Screwed it all up.

Ate a Giagantic breakfast at Siglap Centre McDonalds to cover all my misery, and dragged myself to Jolvin's house to play basketball. Off form. Couldn't even shoot in one. Guess I'm deproving after all. *Sigh* On the train back home, I sat on the floor with Edmund. My leg was in pain, and so was my back. I seriously forced food down today, breakfast and dinner.

After dinner, I passed Choon Kuat the Marianne Chong Book and took back my maths set. I wonder how people actually study that much. My Books are used for flipping through before exams. Besides that, I have no idea what they are used for. Tried to study today, but after like 8 questions I gave up, and did the rest of the questions in my head. Andrew's headphone's also broke on the bus. Goddamnit. Today is just not my day.

I have never though of my future. Someday maybe I will start thinking about it. I really should. And I got this insane haircut that all people will laugh at. Well, its all for a bigger plan. I really should start booting myself in my Metamorphosis Process. I've been dreaming too much. Its time to put some of those useless thoughts in to actions. Once I step in, there's no turning back. Its time to bite the bullet

If you don't know, I'm doing this all for Rain. As in, the main motivation for it at least. She will never leave my mind. I was thinking today, what if I meet her right now. What would I do. I guess I'll just act like I don't know her I guess. Reality bites, I don't want her to see me like this. Empty words. I'm just building castles in the sky ain't I?

"After you've experienced so many broken relationships, there isn't pain anymore. You're left with the frozen hope that one day you'll find love." - Abigail / Caesar Chay

Happy When It Rains

I guess I feel like blogging again. I think I only blog when I feel sad. Do I? I do know though... That when I blog, I always feel better. Happy only when it rains. Most of you, I guess will know that it means by now. I try and try but I never seem to succeed. So right now, I'm feeling a little helpless. Which is very unlike me. But if u read this blog, please do leave a tag. However you are linked to me. I will try very very hard to reply you. Happy only when it rains.


I got the title from the song "Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage. I first heard this song on the Singapore Polytechnic laptop my brother brought to Gunung Ledang to "do his work". Well, I accidently reformated my ipod and this was among the few songs that was in it. I'm kinda of glad I heard it. I've the lyrics of the song, got it down from the internet. Its practically meaningless, it just applies directly to misery. But "Rain" means a whole new word to me right?


I will try to keep my blog in one standard format. It will go with my daily events, followed by my reflections and thoughts, ending with those of rain, then for a new segment, I will try to give a Quote of the Day. While the Quotes of the Day usually are words of wisdom, those of this blog will merely be intresting words and phrases said by the people i meet. Therefore, if your "Words of Wisdom" is displayed, don't be suprised.


Due to the upcoming events that is happening in the month of september, I might blog a little less then yesterday. Although I will try to keep the blog as updated as possible. As for the people who actually bother to read my blog, I will appreciate it if you do not broadcast the things on my blog to every one that you know. This is my first post on the blog, I hope you actually read it. As for Rain... I'm thinking of her, everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. She will never leave my mind.