Post-Christmas.

Come to think of it, Christmas went along like any other day, badly. I received one personal present this year. Yay! Apples chocolates and sweets, I think I received a grand total of 3 non-food related presents. Yay!

I expected worse.

I came home to a neatly messed up table, without clothes. I was awfully surprised, and wonder which miracle happened. Then, I opened up my drawers and found that everything was shafted in, UNCATAGORISED. Fricken' disaster.

Yes, I decided that I would be materialistic, because the thought doesn't count, when there isn't any. So what for make everyone else but yourself happy, does it make a difference? Its just like going green: ONE PERSON CANNOT MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Why me?

I don't care, coz' nobody cares.

Christmas

Christmas is here, and I want to blog, but I don't know what to blog about. Its my nineteenth Christmas, every Christmas is worse than the last, and this year's hit rock bottom. Remembering my birthday, Christmas doesn't seem very exciting, and it makes me get cynical over every little thing, from inefficiency to just plain everyday stuff.

I've to get through this FYP report which is going to murder me, literally, if not metaphorically. Well, its procrastination that got me here, I could have started way earlier for my project report. Given 3 projects and finish on the third week of December its a good situation for me. Well, as Ken Lee said, don't compare your project with other groups, its going to be very different, very difficult, very time consuming. How can you not compare when other groups start way later than you and finish way earlier than you? They come in for an hour a week and they have completed and probably have already finished their project report.

Enough ranting over FYPs.

Elgin say's he's going through a slight depression over the FYP report thing. I can feel it too, the lack of sleep, the hostility, the simple lack of appetite. I can't even play L4D when I'm bored.

Dr. Ken says he's not going to push me for distinction.

So much for Christmas.

Victor said we should share a present from my dad, which is to sell the old piano and get a good keyboard. I said anything, because I know that anything I want for Christmas, money can't buy.

Money can't buy a gift from someone you love, it can't buy love from someone you like, it can't buy time, it definitely can't reverse time, it would make someone like you more, it won't cure depression, lonliness, aggression, and all the pent up feelings I'm feeling right now.

Right now I'm abused and over-used.

Little meaning left in this life of mine, where I see people buy 50 dollar flip-flops, spend their time doing things people appreciate, and I can only look at my handphone and smile, coz' she sent me an sms.

I'm feeling really unappreciated, for anything that I do.

But as I said : I'm not a special and unique snowflake. I'm the same decaying matter as every single damn thing that existed.

But, even the person who said that, had a girlfriend. How much can I match myself to Tyler Durden?

You're a very special girl, and Andrew's a very lucky guy. Gonna miss you all so much~

Training Log:
5 min threadmill (warm-up)
4 x 8 upright rows (30kg)
4 x 8 bench presses (15kg, 17.5kg, 20kg, 21.25kg-20kg-17.5kg)
4 x 5 preacher curls (50lbs, 50lbs, 50lbs, 60lbs)
2 x 8 chest flies (15kg)

Monday, forteenth of december.

What am I supposed to do, watch you cry?


Training log:
1o min treadmill (warm-up)
4 x 5 preacher curls (drop-sets)
4 x 20 back (210lbs)
4 x 12 leg presses (210lbs)
4 x 8 upright rows (30kg)
40 inclined sit-ups
3 x 20 flutter kicks

I have directly ZERO motivation to study.

Nick wants to give up hope on his project right now.

On a little lighter note, MSTs will be over soon.

Special.

You scared?

I constantly tell myself, "You are not a special and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying matter as everyone else."




So when do you become from special, to not so special?

Wendesday Reds.

"Hey, you look ravishing, as usual." was really what I wanted to say. Somehow I didn't have the guts to. Oh well...

I really really hope doing well for your project takes me places. If not I'll still be quite happy to work in the lab for you anyway.

Hi, I'm Forrest, Forrest Gump.

I bet I won't be able to say something like this when it matters the most. He's a fool, but he's so much more a great person, maybe than what I'll ever be.