Victoria...

I miss School. I miss being late for school. I miss climbing over the back gate to get into the school. I miss talking back to Tazzneen the incorrigible. I miss Ponning School to play at Gamers or Zion. I miss wearing the school badge. I miss arguing with DVD. I miss talking to Jolvin. I miss Rapping with JJ and Mund. I miss Victoria.

I remember the times where we all wished to get out of school, in such a hurry. I watch the school people walk past orchard road in the day, and I wish I was younger. *Sigh*

"We will never return to you, Victoria, because we never really left." - Edwin Tamboo.

Guilt. Guilty Concience. Concience.

Its like I failed you, Am. We've been together for 2 months now. You're throwing yourself at someone whom you know doesn't really love you. For your faith, I admire. Rain once told me," Follow your heart." Am I? I don't really know. The eyes of my heart were slashed blind by the cruelties of first-love. For the times you've been there for me, I can't thank you enough. Somehow, you always found ways to put a smile on my face, even when the darkest of clouds hung over me. Thanks, Am.


My first snapshot after I asked you to be mine.



My most memorable picture of us.

Its not you, darling. Its me. It always was.

"Light of men, Love of God. Healing for the wounded heart. Like a child I quiet my soul, Hear your voice surround me Lord." - Deeper - Hillsongs.

sCaaReD : io go help u

Thank God for friends. When you get trapped by the monsters of life, They'll be the only ones you have left when the storms are over.

Centre. Of. My. Life.

This post is mainly an answer to Hazel's remark. I'm always happy to have someone tag on my blog. At least I like to see some one reading my blog. I don't like to complain to nobody.

Hazel : eh nick..no offense, but u dun wan distractions..yet u wan Rain sitting beside u while u're doing ur reflections? o.O

When I daydream, about my perfect life, I always have Rain beside me. Even when the thoughts are of interior designing, I sit in my perfect room, alone. Then someone grasps my right hand. Somehow I know its Rain. Then I will fly out to a third person view of myself, Rain, my perfect room. Somehow I remain in that position until someone jolts me out of my thoughts. Then I'll get a little sad, cause I just lost time together with her...

Whenever I'm doing my reflections, she's with me. She's with me when I'm on the bus ride home. her head's tilted, resting on my shoulder. I know, because I see it in the reflection of the glass window. When I'm standing doing nothing at the door at R.C tea lounge, She's looking intently at me, as if I stopped for nothing. I see her intent curious eyes at the corner of mine. Even now, as I blog, she's behind me, lying down, hugging Lack and reading a book. You want to know what she's wearing? A pair of denim shorts and a white sleeveless top.

She's not a distraction, she's part of my reflection. I'm that in love with her. Sorry, Rain. I'm delirious, delusional about you.

"And the voice of truth, tells me , ' Do Not Be Afraid~! ' " - Voice of Truth - Casting Crowns.

Random Thoughts, Random Emotions.

I just came back from a wake. Auntie Sandra Chong's Father passed away on his ninetieth year of life. Fortunately he gave his life to Christ 3 years ago, and he has been happy ever since. He was a medium all his life. Somehow. I feel that he's lived a happier, more fulfilling life than me.

I'm far from perfect. I'm so bad you'd not want to make friends with me if you know me for more than a week. They say we all are the same creation of God. We're loved equally by God. Then why are some people just better than others? Better looking, better character, better figure, better brains, better strength. Its not fair.

I realised that I get jealous very very easily. I saw Am talking with another guy, training with him. I got really jealous. I didn't want her to socialise with any other guy. Even though it was just a game. Did I care that much? No. Still. I got jealous.

While worship, Chloe cried. Everyone knew she was having a private conversation with God. I saw how she was touched by God. Even then, I was jealous. Why not me and why her? I was terribly jealous.

Work has been hectic. Everyone's treating me like dirt. The seniors are bitching about me behind my back as I try hard to accommodate creativity into customer service. Its not fair. Life's never fair. Not to me at least.

Seems like people are starting to avoid me again. Right Rain? You changed your blog. I knew it a long long time ago. I don't know why, but I'm still attracted to you. Some weird power you have. Somehow I can just fall in love with the first girl that spills her guts out to me, or just simply turn around and bite me. People included are Jasslyn, Rain, Min Hua, Evelyn. I just don't know why I fall in love so easily.

For Am. I'm sorry I haven't found the time to keep you company. Even as a Maple Boy-friend, I haven't really played my part. I suppose I should do something, but let my mind clear out, I'll do what I can for now.

Really happy that the cozy corner can turn out the way I want it to. I'll be nice for a change. I'll spend my time at the cozy corner to do my reflections, I suppose. It'll be nice to find somewhere quiet, far from the distractions. I just want to sit in a nice corner, imagine Rain beside me, and just sitting there, waiting for the time to pass.

Did you rise the sun for me?
Paint a million stars,
That I may know your majesty? - Always - United Live