Randomness Uncalled for

Am I that proud?

Name: Nicholas
Date: 2/13/2008
Colorgenics Number: 73106524

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Is it that you are working - or even playing - too hard? Because it would seem that you are experiencing a great deal of pent-up emotion at this time which could possibly take effect and lead to irrational behaviour.

Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, you are at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What you really need is someone who can be close to you and to listen to what you have to say.

You give the impression that you are a self-sufficient individual, pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure. But this is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional person, one that may make hasty decisions and perhaps repent at leisure. It is time now perhaps to break the bond of detachment and become the real 'you' - the you that you would like to be.

You are experiencing more than your fair share of stress following an acute disappointment. This may be the result of subconscious conflict between hope and necessity. The tension that you are experiencing following your unfulfilled hopes have given rise to anxious uncertainty. You have no doubt that things could get better in the future and so you refuse to make the necessary essential decisions. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decisions, you are likely to vacillate and concern yourself with trivialities of little consequence.

At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?

"What's with these 'greater goals'? Are they really your goals? Didn't someone just dump them on you? Thats why I'm saying you're no good. Loyalty to someone is different from depending upon them. It isn't even interesting to fight someone who doesn't have his own goals. But you chose to come after me. Wasn't that a display of your own will? The power you gain was all in order to defeat me. The power comes from your grudge. Why not try giving all your strength to that end?" - Zaraki Kenpachi

Chinese New Year

Imagine you were bathing, ignoring the fire works and the immense noise outside, and suddenly, a red spark flies into your bathroom. I think that will be like wow.

Anyway, today's day has been exceptionally fruitful and fattening. I manage to own with almost any hero given with me today, besides that, I got a new pair of black shoes and a I pigged out at reunion dinner again.

Todays reunion dinner was seriously alot of food. Besides the immense amount that was set out for steamboating, there were also cooked food, and a party of seven couldn't finish up, we ate like only half.

Mom cooked the chicken and the eight treasure dunno what dish. Still I think reunion dinners are a gigantic waste of money. Anyway I'm supposed to wear my new clothes out tomorrow, and I think I'm going to be more of an insult to my stuff than anything else.

Stuff to do after Chinese New Year: Apply for job and Changi Airport, Ask about timing for Faizah, Sign up for Muay Thai classes. So much to do...

Day Before Chinese New Year

Well, Its been so fucking wasted in front of the computer playing C&C3, and pigging out and proving that my skeleton king wins victor's faceless void. Cool huh. By the way I did win.

Anyway, I'm blogging right now coz' Shyan Juang's busy reading her Shojo Manga and she's leaving me alone. Hmmph. I didn't even know such things existed la. It writes on wikipedia that its a Manga for Girls between the age of 10 - 18 and consists of a girl protagonist and is a probably an erotic love story.

I'm here dying of boredom, and I'm through reading blogs. Theres a funny comparison of people's photo and Chuck Norris, and how both guys and gals lose to Chuck Norris's manliness. I wonder where I'd get inspiration for these sort of things. My post are like so boring and wordy. Aren't they?

Speaking of which, I'd end my blog post here because the past 2 days ones were really long. Well, syonara.

Promises.

Fuck. I broke a whole bunch of promises today. Lets start with one at roughly 12.30am last night, when I broke a promise to take a bath before I fall asleep on the bed. Then in the morning, I broke a promise to go running today. In maple, I broke a promise to collect 300 jr. pepe's fishes for someone, and a promise to level up by today. Then I broke a promise to do the housework today. If anyone has a request to learn how to break promises, you're welcome to have me as a private tutor.

Well, there's a whole bunch of stuff I'm yet to do, and tasks unfulfilled. I just don't know where to begin.

I think I'll go work with Jia Hong at Airport ba. 950 per month + 2-3 hundred of allowances a month as well. Shyan Juang's encouraging me to go for it as we speak. Well, I guess I'll go for the interview once Chinese New Year's over.

Speaking of which, she's blabbering on and on of how powerful she would be, if she was in bleach, or in One-Piece. Well, she sure can imagine, can't she? She wants me to work for her then too. Haha. Sure thing gal. Oh my nnp.(Victor doesn't want me to say God, because its blasphemous, goodness because it refers to God, and fuck because its vulgar, so it has to be oh my neh neh pok.) She says betrayal is punishable by death.

Today went to vivo with Jason and renjin Jing Jing. I was bored at home so I went out to find them. Then it wasn't much better, at first I was eating cookies at subway, then went went to Carl's Jr. to have dinner. With my new advancement in fast food entertainment, Thriple Western Bacon Cheese burger with Chilli beef cheese fries. As I was doing something else, I ate slowly and I almost wasn't able to finish. I know you'll go like "Omg~~ Nick's full~! Omg Omg" but hello, I'm human.

Then we went window shopping and as usual when Jing Jing's aroind we tease her with whatever's in a shop. So yeah, there was a guy thong, then I say I'd buy it for her. Lucky she said like no, so I don't actually have to buy it. Its bloody ex, for a minute piece of cloth. Bata at Vivo city doesn't have my size, like what the hell. So I have to go to Peninsulwa to buy although i can't wait to go Peninsula of Malaysia to buy more stuff, I'm still looking forward to the June trip to Thailand for shopping. That's the real reason I'm working.

There's this Jap Song from D.Gray-Man that I really like, its lyrics are really encouraging. Here it is.

To the Next Part of Your Dream

In the light that spills out from a gap in the clouds, that seemed so dazzling

I suddenly held my hand up over my head, my weaknesses seeming to be transparent

Just by being envious, I would always pretend to give up
But my feelings rage, so I'm again lead astray

Everyone gets frustrated
But all you can do is just move on, with your own two feet
I wander about and worry too, when I'm like that
I wonder what sort of future will have?

Destroy that interfering unease
Break it apart, with your hands that are clenched into fists
Carve in that pain, yes, dive into it
The next part of your unending dream

It looks like I've lost sight of what reality is
And whether or not the path that I choose is right or not

When I carry myself in a cheerful manner, loneliness crosses over
What sort of face is the real me making?

People can't help but be sad
Seeking something, I continue to search
Struggling like that, yet surely
You'll cut through to the future that you will have

Don't stand still, and lose your way
Somewhere, we're certainly connected
Don't run away, just quietly touch your hopes
In the next part of your unending dream

The things that that I'm desperately holding fast to
My uselessly expanding pride
And everything, at this point
I'm going to try and throw it all away
And then, try starting all over again

Everyone gets frustrated
But all you can do is just move on, with your own two feet
I wander about and worry too, when I'm like that
I wonder what sort of future will have?

Destroy that interfering unease
Break it apart, with your hands that are clenched into fists
Carve in that pain, yes, dive into it
The truth is, you believe in yourself more than that
To the next part of your unending dream

Right Words.

I think its hard to come out with right words. Whether its a title, or just a random string of words. I lack the innovation to come out with anything I want, be it writing lyrics for a song, saying something to the girl I like, or even finding the title to my blog post. Everyone thinks I've talent with the language, except for me. I feel this way, coz' I'm not able to put in words the way I feel. I don't like that.

I just finished Moyashimon, and I'm starting Kannon. Moyashimon's a fantasy based story based on a boy who can see bacteria and talk to them as well. Several twists and side stories but everything ended in eleven episodes. Still, its cute.

I have to say that the guys drawing Kannon and Clannad are damn good. The anime girls are so cute, although the story line's pretty random. I wish I could be like that guy, because he always knows what to say, at the right time. Sigh. If not for my mouth, I don't think I will be where I am right now.

'Keep me company kays?' Is all I can say, coz' I'm pretty lonely right now.

Next Wednesday, Timbre at Substation, Saturday, one Dinner, Sunday is Shyan's party. Should I go? Its just like me. I'm not going to know anyone if I go. Should I, Should I, Should I? Visa if you're reading this you better get the guitar from me quick.

Of M&Ms and Snow Biscuts.

Today's really crap. I was out since 9 plus and back at 11 pm at night. With cell group in the morning every Saturday, its kinda wasting my sleeping time. And Chingay's really killing me. So pai-seh lah, seeing Nick Chan and Nigel at the People's association, and I'm dressed in tights and that stupid costume.

Well, I knew a whole lot of new friends because of that Chingay Parade. Especially a new good friend, Shyan Juan. Her crazy ethics and her light-heartedness really sparks life in to an ever boring routine. She's got a website for people to download Jap music too. Cool huh. I wish I had one too. Then again, what would I do with it?

Shirley was alright in the afternoon, but when it came to the night time, she got all quiet and stuff. I guess she was tired or something ba. I heard she got sick on Thursday and went for a Barbecue yesterday and slept past two. Well, get well soon kays?

My shoes are damn Holey la. They have like holes at the bottom, and so when I stepped on a puddle, the water would go in. And today it was raining. So my socks were like soaked to the core la. It was damn uncomfortable, and I had to wear it like from 6 - 11. Spare me.

I was looking around for Chu Zen but I didn't see her. She performing with SOKA I guess. Didn't even catch a glimpse of her. She's performing on the 13th at Takashimaya as well. I'll be down there, I don't know if anyone else wants to go. I doubt so. Whoo~ Go Urban Passion. I never even see them before la please.

Levan's blog is damn funny la. Everyone who is offensive should go and read and have a glimpse of what life from a different perspective is about. That bloody albino is damn proply-propanoate.

Well, I'll stop here today. Goodnite everyone.

After a Long Time...

So after a long long time, I decide to blog again. And I mean blog properly, and try not to give one word essays already. Anyway, my life pretty messed up, and I really am picking up the pieces one by one, and at the same time, arranging them so that I can be better, I guess.

There are some changes to my blog. Firstly, I've updated the song on my blog, to my favorite firefight song - Hours. And I've moved down my friend test to below everything else. I'm thinking of removing it because no one tries my friend test nowadays. Crap. The test wasn't that easy to do anyway, you must really know me for at least 5 years to get above 50% and above without lucky guesses. I'm thinking of linking everyone I know, but that will be tedious. Well, its not like I've anything to do anyway.

I'm spending my time, watching the days go by. I'm still job less, although I've some prospectives, such as Shangrila, Kiat ling's Japanese restaurant in Clark Quay, and some others I guess. Royal Copenhagen doesn't need part timers, so I guess I won't be working there. Haha. I'm destined to be a waiter for my part time job.

I just watched d.gray-man to the present episode, and at first, I thought it was pretty boring, but recent episodes just made it really interesting. With traces from bleach and claymore. Well, its hard to create a whole new world by yourself I guess.

I finished Clannad to 16, and its super-kawaii. The characters are so cute and the story line is random, but its generally a great show to watch. Fu-chan kawaii ne. Although I feel its pretty serious for a childish show.

Well, I think I shall stop here for today. Can't expect me to blog out everything in one shot right? Catch y'all la'er.