If life is so purposeless, do you feel that it's worth living?
by Visakan Veerasamy

Yes, for those of us who somehow manage to cope with our own mortality. The very meaninglessness of life forces man to create his own meaning. Children, of course, begin life with an untarnished sense of wonder, a capacity to experience total joy at something as simple as the greenness of a leaf; but as they grow older, the awareness of death and decay begins to impinge on their consciousness and subtly erode their joie de vivre, their idealism- and their assumption of immortality. As a child matures, he sees death and pain everywhere about him, and begins to lose faith in the ultimate goodness of man. But if he's reasonably strong- and lucky- he can emerge from this twilight of the soul into a rebirth of life's élan. Both because of and in spite of his awareness of the meaninglessness of life, he can forge a fresh sense of purpose and affirmation. He may not recapture the same pure sense of wonder he was born with, but he can shape something far more enduring and sustaining. The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent; but if we can come to terms with this indifference and accept the challenges of life within the boundaries of death- however mutable man may be able to make them- our existence as a species can have genuine meaning and fulfillment. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.

To a Certain Somone.

I'm no longer keeping silent.

What the hell did I ever do to offend you. I'm at my limits already, don't push it any further. I give you my respect as a friend, and in turn you treat me like dirt. Be mindful that I'm not obliged to give in to you at any time, answer any of your freaking questions and answer to your beck and call.

What hits me the most is that you don't do any thinking yourself, and the best part is, you don't ask people to teach you the method, you simply just want the answer. I saw the answer to your question, and I can practically see that you put in ZERO effort. Even if I asked you to search for the answer yourself, you can still ask me how to search. I, myself, haven't even started the report so don't go thinking that I don't want to tell you the answer.

What's wrong with you?

Nirvana.

Nicky's just back from the Looi's house from studying cGMPs and teaching mole concept. Me is so tired, and Rachel can't connect pieces properly. But at least she's making progress.

I hate LM. The questions make no sense. They just want you to calculate everything. I don't even think he did the questions, or that he did anything to prepare the lesson, I doubt his qualifications to teach this module in the first place, that takes bits and pieces from other modules and pieces it into one. There's nothing to learn, all to remember.

Everyone had fun being a hunter, boomer and trying to scaring each other and hiding in dark corners in LT4a, and I went to take a nap until Wenjie barged in, and woke me from my slumber. And Wayne Lee's giving tips so yay.

I've yet to expel everything from my brain. So I can do well for my test.

Dreams.

I have realised that its amazingly difficult to blog when you are on facebook. Especially when you are playing fish a fish. Its a amazingly retarded game, don't play it.

Yesterday I happened to be asked about LM by NQ the bird, then she she suddenly talked about dreams, because SHE HAD A DREAM ABOUT HERSELF ASKING ME ABOUT A GRAPH THAT SHE THOUGHT WAS CORRECT, WHICH I INEVIDENTLY TOLD HER WAS WRONG, AND CORRECTED IT FOR HER. Somehow, it came true yesterday night, and then she was so excited and recollected that she had other dreams that she was in the middle of Africa and another about being in a terrorist country that was being attacked by terrorists. Don't worry, Nuanqin, they will ALL come true.

I hate dreams, because they're nothing but dreams, and they are never real, only real dreams are nightmares, and the worst nightmare of all is the one you don't have dreams about: Reality.

I shan't discuss what we said last night, its private info. Anyway, one day I will go into nude black and white phtography and I will be some pro photographer, not like the ones edison chen took. Ah heck, I'm losing sleep over my FYP already, so yeah. I'M DOOMED.

Kryptonite.

Nick feels retarded. For the few times in his life. There seems too be too many slip ups, too many accidents and somehow everything's going downhill. A recent quiz I did earlier showed that I'm domineering and histrionic. I need some motivation to go on.

What seemed very much like a do-able project turned out to be much more than what I expected. I need to get past the first stage. The rest of the reactions seem to be the easy ones. Its the first few that really get on my nerves. And just when Chee Geng left, the lab had to close for a month. That really sucks.

Somehow I wonder if there really is this, "You reap what you sow". It works sometimes and doesn't the next. I need some like superpower to pick me up and place me back on my feet. I need to find kryptonite.

Portrait Lover
The Fire Fight

Can you see the light in my eyes?
Beyond this deep black iris that you know.
Can you hear the voices behind
The walls that leaves us sentimentally lonesome?

In a plain black dress with a purple lace
She graces the beat of a jazz ballet.
So come on dance now and don't you cry

And there ain't no place that I'd rather be,
Just you and I at the matinee.
With that look in your eyes.

Well I could be your everything.
You could be my everyone
I could be your special friend.
You could be my only one.

My skin is cold and I'm growing old,
A time has come that can't be foretold.
With a mind and a heart that breaks,
Though i gave all my best to you
Would someone be hear to tell
The stories that I wrote?

Though the world may have its idea of fame
Yet what's the point?
They can't remember your name.
Oh come on stop now, and don't you try.

But in the quiet beneath the trees,
Do you remember the days that were so beautiful
To me?

Well I could be your everything,
You could be my everyone.
I could be your special friend,
You could be my only one.

from Henri, released 31 July 2009
Lyrics by Joshua Tan & Iain Tham

The Train Song
The Fire Fight

Sad, sad so we are together.
Sad, sad so we are together.
Now if you'll please be satisfied with me
8:30 on the tick-tock counter.
Black suit in the morning rush hour
So what, so what he says to her,
You never believed in us,
Never believed in us.
Lovers will be like this,
Lovers will be the same always.
And every time you're underestimating me,
Hold on, hold on.

Sad, sad so we are together.
Sad, sad so we are together.
And if you'll please be satisfied with me.
You know you know you know
Its never enough
So what's your story waiting for?
So what, so what he says to her.
Do you have the strength to be with me?
Moments could be like this,
Moments could be the same always.
And every time you're underestimating me,
Hold on, hold on.
It always should be like this,
It always should be like this to me.

credits
from Henri, released 31 July 2009
Lyrics by Joshua Tan