Wistful Thinking

I see you, with them
Smiling and laughing all day
I see you, surrounded by them
Getting further and further away

And I sat alone, stood alone
Not a single smile grace my face
All that I could do was cry alone
In your heart I can’t find my place

Sometimes I find you just beside
I hear your voice, see your smile
Even though you’re right beside
Our distance is not just a thousand mile

I tried hard, with all my might
If only your smile is directed at me
I really hope one day it might
But reality suggest that it’ll never be

We brush past each other
You treat me like I’m invisible
I wish to be your significant other
No matter how impossible

Another poem by Kat. Anyways, it speaks directly from me, to you.

I don't know what to say. I just know sorry isn't the word.

Something's Missing

However happy I look, or the way I act, its only a facade. I'm still feeling really empty inside.

Help me oh heaven, tear down all the walls. Keep me safe with my own device. - Fires at night - The Fire Fight

Trying to Keep Posting.

Today was your ordinary, normal bad day. Nothing spectacular, just that the fact remains that your day remains bad. Waking up to a bad start was a bad thing, then one by one everything just piles in. When you're late, time flies, and everything seems to be a step slower than you want it to be. The train seems so slow, the distance from the station to the classroom increases, but the time just keeps running.

I stepped in to class late, and there was the teacher and the teachers boss. Well, I was last to enter class, feeling ever so embarrassed. I was the only one to raise up my hand when asked who doesn't believe in doing my part. I think we are amazed to see people who put up their hand when asked the "save the earth" question. I shan't put up my arguments now, I don't think I really want to list them out.

Faizah, you baddie. =( After all those stuff, you still think I disagree with every word you say.

I can just walk into CPPA practical without knowing anything and walk out without knowing a single thing more. I really don't want to find my future with a valve turning, time measuring job. I need to like study so I can really choose my own future. I don't want to slog my guts out on a job I don't like. Anyway, why am I thinking about this stuff, its not like I care anyway.

Playing cards, sitting next to you, yet you seem so damn far away. Probably because of the way you act towards me. Some say don't worry. Other say give up. I'm caught in the middle. Sigh. It sorts of kills me, softly. The past few days have been really happy days, when I read your replies. Suddenly its all gone cold. Ice cold.

Everyone's studying so hard, everyone's so busy, everyone's zooming past me, and I'm at a sedentary point in my life. I'm not moving forward in any way. Sigh. Everyone has done their tutorials except me. I don't know what to say. I just wanna escape. Escape from everything.

In the dead of the night

What a terrible silence

Of the voices within our minds

Are we helpless and tired of trying

So help me oh heaven

Tear down all the walls

Keep me safe with my own device

The Fire Fight - Fires at Night

Of Loud Distorted Solos and Soft Acoustic Rings.

Theres so much for me to say, theres so many things that I know not how to describe. Attending those rock concerts makes me feel so much better to be who I am, rather than who I am not. When everyone's moshing away in that big pile, its better to stay at the front gallery, where everything can be seen, where I'm far away from that stupid crowd.

Deathcon 7 was kinda fun yet kinda boring. The bands were pretty interesting to watch, specifically plushfools, which is the first concert I'm attending since I knew them while they were recording their songs. Their also the first band which I have seen go on stage on slippers. Zach was amazing though, with him dancing around the stage even though he's got a cough and stuff.

Sour Grapes was also another interesting band, a band that Visa told me was a good band. Their songs were like a mix of Punk and Rock, but more to the rock side. I still don't get the word "Indie", but I think its something along that line. Their lead singer had a really awesome voice though, and his hair is really awesome too. Its really looks like a man with a hairball for a head.

The first time I've ever heard Leeson, but that band, is sensational. Even though an old-man band, it really is a good band. They look like U2, and play songs like U2, and the lead singer went on stage with a gin and tonic in his hand. Though somewhat lack of showmanship for and Indie band, it was good nonetheless, they made it up with their original songs.

Shyam Raj's voice was good, but his guitar playing lacked depth, it was really playing rock music on an acoustic guitar. I didn't really liked it much, and Plushfools were playing at the same time, so it was in and out between the two, and I like Plushfools better. Shyam Raj has showmanship, voice but he's not suited for the acoustic scene. He's better off as a Rockstar.

Visa was drunk. I doubt he actually knew what he was doing anyway, but at least for a good half of his set, his voice was enough. But playing bass and singing really isn't the thing right? I supposed an acoustic show would have been better if him and Ryan were on stage, at least there is a bass and an acoustic, it wouldn't have been so empty.

The guy, Tony Alderman, was really good for an acoustic set. His originals were very nice, with very simple cords with a capo. Doubled with emotions, his audience was only four, but I think he put on a good show for those who actually stayed to listen. I think his set was the best for acoustic, and I'd love to see more of his shows and stuff.

Though, the moshing was quite disturbing, and the metal music and the satanism relatively boring. Though, I really wonder whats with all this angst and such where u have to push and let push to show some violence, and people get hurt and stuff, is it supposed to be fun, I wonder. Its just quite sad to see them that way.

Exiting DXO, saw Allura perform outside Cineleisure at the Lime Sonic Bang Preview. Their Vocalist looks pretty hot close up, probably she got that figure with the immense amount of dancing on stage that they do. I think I remember her to be quite plump when I saw her at Crush@Top5.

I didn't get a chance to get the Lime Sonic Bang T-shirt, or a Mosh pit pass, or a CD. Well, who cares. Gotta buy their album to support them right? I think I shall go and buy the album of the bands I think are nice, like Fire Fight, Armchair, West Grand, Allura and some others. Aww, but I do want that green T-shirt.

Talking to you again just makes me realise how much I actually miss you. Will I treasure my chances? Will I ever make it there? I don't think I know, do I? When I say I miss you, I really mean that you're a part of me that I'm missing. Its an empty space, that only u can fill.

For the hope that burns in your eyes. - Fires at Night - The Fire Fight

Back To You

Back To You Lyrics

John Mayer

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late

Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about you
It's just the way you move
The way you move me

I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away


Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette

should have smiled in that picture
If it's the last that I'll see of you
It's the least that you
Could not do

Leave the light on,
I'll never give up on you,
Leave the light on,
For me too, for me too

Back to me
I know that it comes
Back to me
Doesn't it scare you
Your will is not as strong
As it used to be

As a second Follow up.

I believe we’re not arguing over the effect of my usage of the word ‘race’, because I am using it as an analogy. I was using it to show that Singapore has to accept the Gays in Singapore, to become Cosmopolitan. There is not need to attack my usage of English, instead, the points of my argument. If you can state that a race is a group of people united or classified together on the basis of common history, nationality, or geographic distribution. Then as an analogy, there should be nothing wrong with using Gays as a race.

Section 337 in the penal code states, “Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animals, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 10 years, and shall also be liable to fine."

I believe you’ve the misconception of the Penal Code 337A. It still does not allow anyone to have sex openly, homosexual or heterosexual. It is true that policemen don’t barge into people’s room and catch them for having homosexual sex. I’m saying that they can. They don’t do it in front of us now, because it is a crime, and they still won’t do it in front of use anytime soon, because it is still a crime.

Then again, if you say that the code is not active, why keep it? Why burden ourselves with it when we don’t even use it? We can give a little pressure off a minority by use removing something we don’t use

Your argument was Gays were not creative writers. Then you threw some names about. My argument was that there were gays who were creative writers, who are creative writers, and who can be creative writers. You cannot deny that. I did not lump them all together and say that they were all talents. It is not an insult to you, I and all Singaporeans, because there are Gay Singaporeans. You by saying that are taking a very one-sided view, discriminating Gays.

Why are you so hard on Gays, I may ask you. It is probably because of the simple reason that you have known few or you have never been socializing with them. If you understand them, you would have taken their thoughts, feelings and viewpoints into consideration before arguing against repealing 337A. The picture is complete when all pieces are put in place. Even if it is one tiny piece missing, It will never be called finished.

As a Follow Up...

Firstly, I realize your tone is a little towards the aggressive side. No need to be so protective of your moral values. Let’s take perspectives from a more neutral, evidence related standpoint.

I did not say Gays form a race. I said that it is LIKE having another race in Singapore. I don’t contradict myself by saying that homosexuality is a form of behavior and a form of sexuality. By giving an example, I was trying to show that Singapore has a possibility of advancing towards having an even more diverse culture, and that people from all around the world can see Singapore as a place where they will not be discriminated to such negative extents.

I take my definitions from dictionaries, and thus, the proper definition for “cosmopolitan” is: Free from local, provincial, or national ideas, prejudices, or attachments; at home all over the world. Is it not possible, for Singapore, with four different races, to accept homosexuals into the country? Then again, are you trying to tell me that, despite the government’s efforts to turn Singapore into a truly cosmopolitan country, it is actually trying to turn Singapore into what you would define as a ‘lame joke’?

To say that America’s communities are splitting up due to the gay liberalism and gay rights is a perspective. Who are we to decide what is right or wrong? You are implying that splitting up is necessarily a bad thing. However we fail to see that the splitting up of one thing is the bonding together of another. According to research by social statisticians, the states in USA which allow gay marriages such as New York, or Massachusetts, have shown a drop in the heterosexual divorce rates, where states such as Utah, or Texas, have, on the other hand, shown an increase of divorce rates.

Please define moving backwards. I assume you are speaking about moral values, because in my opinion, USA is moving forward in most aspects, except for the environmental one, which I believe we are not discussing here today. I still believe that as a person, we do not define what is right and what is wrong. The same scientist that tell us the same ‘damaging evidence’, tell us that the statistics could be wrong because the people interviewed might not have been truthful as they may have hidden vital statistics such as the number of sexual partners they had.

Thus it is not a prejudicial statement that I have made, but on the other hand you should also not generalize that Singaporeans do not have multiple sex partners. I was merely mentioning the risk involved when you have sex. The danger will always be there if we do not use proper protection, whether or not it is the first time you have had sex or have had it the umpteenth time.

The code 337A does not allow gays to have sex openly. The Singapore law does not even allow heterosexuals to have sex openly. Code 337A would mean that if two gays were having sex in a room, and a policeman could come arrest them. Repealing of code 337A would have absolutely nothing to do with gays having sex openly.

Also, if you were to throw names of straight people around, I would equally be obliged to throw an equal amount of names of gay people who have made it big. People like Oscar Wilde, Elton John, even the great 20^th century composer Tchaikovsky was believed to be gay. I directly quoted MM Lee with regards to gays. Are you telling me that MM Lee was generalizing, or are you telling me what MM Lee said was a joke?

Are you denying the fact that there are talented gay people around? Can they not exist? We must also understand that the people whom you mentioned that were talented people with families could have been gay. The pressure of society at that period was to get married and settle down and have children. Do you have sufficient evidence of their sexuality to prove that they were straight men? How then can having a family prove that they are not gay?

MM Lee’s point of view was to create a cosmopolitan Singapore and in that sense, accept gays because of their talent and recognize their contributions to the economy.

We cannot say that have gays in the community leads to the division of the society. Will foreign investors turn tail and run away from the cosmopolitan country? They of course will weight the benefits of investing in a cosmopolitan country. Do countries laugh at Netherlands because they allowed gay marriages? We cannot look at the big picture and neglect the small piece of puzzle, because every puzzle is an integral part of the picture. Taking the puzzle as the example again, would not the puzzle open up new opportunities?

Are we ‘tearing down’ Singapore when we accept 337A or can we grow exponentially as a country. Singapore, being a country with no national resource, can only depend on their people. Won’t it be a gigantic waste if we chase these resources away?

Confused.

Just let me die if you don't wanna take care of me.