You can say I'm clumsy.
You can insult my crappy chinese.
You can laugh at my LCMS results.
You can curse my reaction to fail.
You can scold me, and do whatever you want in your lab.

But I know what I'm doing.

Lets start with the screwed up list:

1. I am so going to "just pass" my PCCC paper today. If not, fail.

2. I have to chiong my LM formal report starting today. Which is already three days late.

3. My Lithiation reaction has failed. And I don't even have to look at it to know. I really need a chemistry tutor, and I really need chemistry tutees. Interested people please leave a tag.

4. Guys from my group, I'm really tired of bossing you around. So, I really want a break. I cannot take the stress from each datasheet we hand in. We need to communicate.

5. I screwed up my gems assignment, even though I think I took not bad photos because the requirements were too stringent. I blame myself for not being able to find the requirements myself, much less read it.

6. I'm procrastinating reparing my phone, registering my credit card, and doing a whole lot of other stuff.

7. I owe my China-peeps a letter, and I need to be like a little kid and ask them to send me stuff from china, eg. capillary tubes.

8. I'm still looking for a musical direction in life.

9. Andrew's going to Australia to study, I think.

10. I'm poor, or I shall have to choose to be poor. Please donate me money. Thanks.

Nick's really really angry. But then, what can he do?

Nicky thinks that the previous post is so true, but he's not really happy, coz' he doesn't want them to get scared, especially her.

ENTJ

The Executive

Extroverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

Assertive and outspoken - they are driven to lead. Excellent ability to understand difficult organizational problems and create solid solutions. Intelligent and well-informed, they usually excel at public speaking. They value knowledge and competence, and usually have little patience with inefficiency or disorganization.

As an ENTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

ENTJs are natural born leaders. They live in a world of possibilities where they see all sorts challenges to be surmounted, and they want to be the ones responsible for surmounting them. They have a drive for leadership, which is well-served by their quickness to grasp complexities, their ability to absorb a large amount of impersonal information, and their quick and decisive judgments. They are "take charge" people.

ENTJs are very career-focused, and fit into the corporate world quite naturally. They are constantly scanning their environment for potential problems which they can turn into solutions. They generally see things from a long-range perspective, and are usually successful at identifying plans to turn problems around - especially problems of a corporate nature. ENTJs are usually successful in the business world, because they are so driven to leadership. They're tireless in their efforts on the job, and driven to visualize where an organization is headed. For these reasons, they are natural corporate leaders.

There is not much room for error in the world of the ENTJ. They dislike to see mistakes repeated, and have no patience with inefficiency. They may become quite harsh when their patience is tried in these respects, because they are not naturally tuned in to people's feelings, and more than likely don't believe that they should tailor their judgments in consideration for people's feelings. ENTJs, like many types, have difficulty seeing things from outside their own perspective. Unlike other types, ENTJs naturally have little patience with people who do not see things the same way as the ENTJ. The ENTJ needs to consciously work on recognizing the value of other people's opinions, as well as the value of being sensitive towards people's feelings. In the absence of this awareness, the ENTJ will be a forceful, intimidating and overbearing individual. This may be a real problem for the ENTJ, who may be deprived of important information and collaboration from others. In their personal world, it can make some ENTJs overbearing as spouses or parents.

The ENTJ has a tremendous amount of personal power and presence which will work for them as a force towards achieving their goals. However, this personal power is also an agent of alienation and self-aggrandizement, which the ENTJ would do well to avoid.

ENTJs are very forceful, decisive individuals. They make decisions quickly, and are quick to verbalize their opinions and decisions to the rest of the world. The ENTJ who has not developed their Intuition will make decisions too hastily, without understanding all of the issues and possible solutions. On the other hand, an ENTJ who has not developed their Thinking side will have difficulty applying logic to their insights, and will often make poor decisions. In that case, they may have brilliant ideas and insight into situations, but they may have little skill at determining how to act upon their understanding, or their actions may be inconsistent. An ENTJ who has developed in a generally less than ideal way may become dictatorial and abrasive - intrusively giving orders and direction without a sound reason for doing so, and without consideration for the people involved.

Although ENTJs are not naturally tuned into other people's feelings, these individuals frequently have very strong sentimental streaks. Often these sentiments are very powerful to the ENTJ, although they will likely hide it from general knowledge, believing the feelings to be a weakness. Because the world of feelings and values is not where the ENTJ naturally functions, they may sometimes make value judgments and hold onto submerged emotions which are ill-founded and inappropriate, and will cause them problems - sometimes rather serious problems.

ENTJs love to interact with people. As Extroverts, they're energized and stimulated primarily externally. There's nothing more enjoyable and satisfying to the ENTJ than having a lively, challenging conversation. They especially respect people who are able to stand up to the ENTJ, and argue persuasively for their point of view. There aren't too many people who will do so, however, because the ENTJ is a very forceful and dynamic presence who has a tremendous amount of self-confidence and excellent verbal communication skills. Even the most confident individuals may experience moments of self-doubt when debating a point with an ENTJ.

ENTJs want their home to be beautiful, well-furnished, and efficiently run. They're likely to place much emphasis on their children being well-educated and structured, to desire a congenial and devoted relationship with their spouse. At home, the ENTJ needs to be in charge as much as he or she does in their career. The ENTJ is likely best paired with someone who has a strong self-image, who is also a Thinking type. Because the ENTJ is primarily focused on their careers, some ENTJs have a problem with being constantly absent from home, physically or mentally.

The ENTJ has many gifts which make it possible for them to have a great deal of personal power, if they don't forget to remain balanced in their lives. The are assertive, innovative, long-range thinkers with an excellent ability to translate theories and possibilities into solid plans of action. They are usually tremendously forceful personalities, and have the tools to accomplish whatever goals they set out for.

I wanna be there when you're feeling down and out. When work loads make you stay up till late in the middle of the night. I wanna be there so you can sleep on my shoulder while I do it for you. Coz' you need it done urgently. Are you going to let me?

It's just the way you move, the way you, move me.

Nick's feeling distressed from the sodium methoxide turning into sodium hydoxide, which converted the hydroxylamine group back into an acid. But that's alright. He's not been having a nice time lately, especially since he broke up with Gillian. But his reason for happiness hasn't been easy, and people breathe down hard on him, and he's feeling really disarrayed.

Nick's only happy when you guys are there, coz you guys make me smile.

I'll give you a chance, I agree with them that I've been really hard on you. But you don't give crap either. I want you to work really hard, or don't blame me for treating you the way I have always done.

What are you thinking?
What are you doing?
What do you think of me?
What am I to you now?
What will we be in the future?
What can we be in the future?

Coz' your smile's still everything to me. From the very first time I laid eyes on you, till this very moment.

Soon, workloads are going to pile and pile and pile on top of me.

Today's a fruitful day at the lab, I'm done with one final product, but somehow the formula mass is wrong. Kinda screwed it up too, but i'm okay with it. Finally some result in the lab, after four weeks. Haha. I really hope things will speed up after this. Coz' its kinda slow. Imagine I take 4 weeks to produce one final compound, wouldn't I only be able to produce 20 final products at the end of the semester? I need a 150.

NMRs are a blur to me still. Thank goodness I have a teacher who reads NMRs fast. I see already also blur. Thats the first product that I submitted in 4 weeks, and its dirty with traces of solvent, and I really need to buck up on that eh?

I've two formal reports to do, literature search, revision and my damn logbook to complete. Especially the log book. If Ken Lee see's it, I'm so dead. Need to hand in the report on monday as well. Sigh. So much to do, so little time.

Take care alright? I don't want anything to happen to you, my princess. You've been having late nights, doing all your stuff. Although I really wanna take care of you, I can't. Can I?

I think I'm getting exhausted from the work in the lab. After the whole column's through, I get 5 test tubes of product. and its all tainted still. I think I'll redo the column and try and get my product. Its hard to imagine the work that I've to do, yet again.

Reports aren't helping much either. With two reports given on the same dateline, the agony of staying up late is going to come really really soon. LM and its standard addition method, and PCCC with its soap making.

I so want to read literature on my work, but its so troublesome to go and find. I can feel the pressure that I put on myself. My molecules are two weeks late and I don't like it one bit. And there's so much things to do. But so little time. And I'm feeling the heartburn/heartache of it all.

I'm so tired of the heck reaction. Its not going to work. Sigh. Its the second time we're doing it, and the flash chromatography is going to wear us out soon. Its probably not the solvent anymore. Its probably just me. Its frustrating.

I've two formal reports, two datasheets, a few tutorials to go over, and a whole lot of catching up, especially on PCCC. Why get a teacher to teach something that he doesn't know? Its not like he's going to know much about it when he's done teaching. He's an organic chemist, for goodness sake.

I feel sorry for the people whom I'm disappointing right now. Especially Ying Jie and Ken Lee.

Today's mothers day, but my mom's killing me man. She's throwing away my stuff and everything. and she said, "Go lose some weight." in the morning. Like wow. Happy mother's day. I didn't get her anything, and I'm still so angry with her.

And for all you delusional people out there. I am not growing slimmer, I am growing fatter. I can't stand it when people say I've slimmed down. It seems like a blatant lie. I am growing fatter and fatter and one day I will explode and my oil will pollute the world.

Yesterday, after a very very long time, I sat at home, doing nothing at all, and I didn't know why. I was supposed to go out, but in the end didn't. So I played Warcraft II for the whole day. And I suck at games now. I'm growing older.

And we were supposed to play basketball today, but in the end didn't. I should get started on my homework too man. Its getting too... slow.

Your will's not as strong as you told all your friends it was gonna be.

I finally found the song for my blog! Thanks to Qi Ming who taught me how to get it from Sogou.com. Now I actually have the song that I got inspiration to create this blog from! Although it sounds kinda emo and all but who cares? Its quite a nice song actually.

Kinda started off bad for me when Ken Lee said that our reaction didn't proceed smoothly. So sad luhh, second reaction already failed. I have to get those hands of mine moving faster and faster, till I can finish packing my column, flushing my column and doing my TLCs in two hours or less.

Today was the first time that my group finished so much faster than the other groups, for C.S. Lim's prac. Then saw Karen and Teri and Dennis at the opposite lab, and chit chatted awhile before performing another flash column chromatography at the Lab. This time I think our speed improved.

And I'm so angry with the person who did my jeans lor. I wonder if he's really a tailor. Disgusting. Didn't look one bit like What I had in mind. Sigh. Nothing really is going my way much these days.

Maybe I shouldn't show off. Maybe I shouldn't have done what I did during practical today. I think it pisses a whole bunch of people off. Probably not just me, once I come to think about it. I laugh to myself and think, "What was I doing?".

So just shut-up when the teacher makes a comment. Shut up when you've nothing to do. Shut up even though you know it kills you not to do so. Probably then you'd have more friends.

Coz' somehow it occurs to me that it doesn't matter what you do, when they do something, you'd best follow suit.

I think I suck at coming up with titles, coz' I really can't come up any titles nowadays. Come to think of it, thanks to the someone who gave me the little smile just now, life wouldn't be the same without it.

Lab Management Essay is a killer man. It seems like internal audit's better than external audit, and the pointers that I'm finding aren't helping at all man, in fact, its making it worst. Someone help me mann~~

FYP went really well today with the FCC, now so cool luh, monitor by LCMS instead of just the TLC. I really really hope that this FYP will help me get to NUS or NTU man, coz' grades aren't just doing it man. I'm realising that theres so much difference between Ken Lee's Lab and Deng Wei Ping's Lab. I feel so handicapped without a whole bottle of capillary tubes in front of me.

I hope I can get all my stuff sorted out, coz' ever since I came back from Shanghai, I've been feeling the drag of things and its taking its toll out on other people.

Back to Blogging

I think I'll go back to blogging for awhile. I'll do up this place and within a few days, it'll be up and running~